Inside The Powerful “She Deserved The Purse” Movement
So, here’s the breakdown–mothers deserve the purse and more.
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On September 4, 28-year-old Nashvillian wife and mother Denaesha Gonzalez took a routine shopping trip to her local Target for her family. Upon reaching the baby aisle, she noticed a glittery silver purse tucked in between the bottles of baby lotion. Realizing a mother must have put the purse back on the shelf in order to afford the necessities of childcare, she took a video of the profound moment that deeply touched her, captioning it “she deserved the purse.”
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As a mother of young children herself, Gonzalez is still learning the balancing act of self care and motherhood. It is for this reason that this moment resonated with her, and she felt the need to share it on her TikTok account. Little did she know, the video would spark a movement–and gain 23.5 million views.
In the weeks since the video was posted, Gonzalez’s account has soared to over 10,000 followers, and countless other influencers (namely, Cecily Bauchmann, Abbey Fickley, Yolanda Diaz and more) are sharing their random acts of kindness towards mothers who are struggling. Many are sharing videos online encouraging people to hide cash and Target gift cards in baby formula and diaper packaging as a surprise for mothers in need.
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Gonzalez is excited about not only the random acts of kindness towards new mothers, but also the important online discourse the video has sparked. “I think sometimes you think that you're alone, in a lot of what you face and what you go through. It's been beautiful to see the outpouring of moms who have walked through seasons that my husband and I have walked through, but also have come out of them on the other side,” said Gonzalez.
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There are mothers discussing the importance of finding balance in self care and motherhood, mothers discussing the importance of community in raising a family, and the importance of resources for struggling parents. In an era in which American infrastructure provides few resources for low income mothers, finding community amongst fellow mothers has proven the most enduring solution to decades of strife.
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As of 2023, the Center for American Progress reported that 21% of American mothers were single parents, with 47% of them Black and 25% of them Latina. While anyone can find themselves thrust into single parenthood, the reality is that this dynamic hits marginalized communities the hardest. These random acts of kindness in Target stores across the country very well could help someone who is in dire need of support.
Gonzalez also feels that sacrifices in motherhood can take on many forms. Some mothers make financial sacrifices to put their children first, while others sacrifice quality time with their children in order to provide for them in times of need. The “she deserved the purse” movement is open to mothers from all walks of life.
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Often, societal pressures surrounding motherhood prevent women from reaching out to family, friends, or neighbors for help. Gonzalez is happy to see that her viral video is breaking the stigma. “We often feel like struggling or sacrificing things is embarrassing, or that no one else is going through it at the same time we are. I was that person just a few weeks ago. I’m married, and my husband and I have found ourselves making sacrifices together as well,” said Gonzalez.
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“I was shocked to see millions of comments saying ‘we've been there.’ If I could tell any mom who's in this position one thing, it’s don't be afraid to reach out, and don't be afraid to ask for help, or to tell people what you're going through, even if it's just to spark a conversation. I think it makes the load a little less heavy.”
A number of women have also been offering support to mothers in difficult times through their local businesses. Gonzalez mentions that she saw one commenter connect with a local hairdresser after revealing that she had not had her hair cut in over a year for financial reasons.
“It’s so empowering to see mothers acknowledging that they deserve good things too,” said Gonzalez.
She went on to mention that a number of brands are looking to get involved in the growing movement through charitable giveaways for mothers.
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On the note of self care, Gonzalez offered further reflection on her own journey. “I think I'm still finding it, and I think that's what's been beautiful to me in the comments. I'm watching moms who have gone through this and now have teenagers or adult children reflecting on how they have learned to practice self care,” said Gonzalez. “It’s important to find ways to take care of yourself, even if you are unable to do your favorite things when you want to. I’m still learning how to figure it out in a way that makes sense to me.”
You can find Denaesha on TikTok @denaeshagonzalez.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.